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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I sit down, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about life in Hajduboszormeny, and I’m like, “You know, this place is kinda underrated.” He agrees, and we bond over our love for the city. But then, out of nowhere, it starts pouring rain! Like, what the heck, weather? I sprint out of there, coffee in hand, looking like a drenched rat.

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